Death by Chocolate Éclair
Ravi Mangla

The Baker began scaling the body of the World's Largest Éclair, knocking on it as if inspecting for ripeness or studs. About 3/5ths of the way down he stopped, knocked again, and turned to us. A cave in, he said finally, matter-of-factly. Tears of custard fell from chocolate-dipped stalactites at the mouth of the pastry and pooled on the grass.
We waited, half-expecting a fart or belch to rumble out from the darkness, for our hero to rise to his feet.
The Baker cited cave-ins and fudgeslides as the cause of death of eight professional eaters every year. Our expectant faces dimmed, as most were old enough to remember the Boston Crème Massacre of 1989.
He would have wanted it this way, the Baker said. We nodded gravely. We didn't want to believe anything different.

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