Innus Merritt James, Participant
The Upper-Right Cheek of The Face of The Bob Hope Expedition

Richard Parks

I. Merritt James,

You have been outfitted with the necessary instruments for ascertaining, from a distance measured in shameful dog, the landscape geography of The Face of The Bob Hope. What of our search for shelter in the warm, fecund cavities of Its Upper-Right Cheek? Dried fish are said to be found there, and tolerably plenty to sustain our group. Let us refresh the method of approach.

Seek a gainful vantage, one shadowed in An Internet Likeness of The Bob Hope. Prostrate your own body, or that of the smaller Innus Merritt James, on A Goodish Gamey Hunk of It. In a manner of breathing silently into the earth, discharge a colored lungful at Its Bushiest Eyebrow. You have a bit of rope. Pay it out gently, to a width equal to three Jimbo-sized shoulderspans. Use your native capacity for spot-hairing. Take into account also the grade and heft of the sprouts; target the ascendancy feasibility and chart the brow touchdown accordingly. Remember well, any direct engagement with The Eyes of The Bob Hope will result in a combustion or two; pursue this tack only as many times as you have shiny marbles in your pockets.

Employ your fatjowled egret fan to break the silent celestial alarum if the atmosphere begins to droop. Our sky-dwelling panopticonal stillness sect will then engage, and douse the area with glue. Leave only the weakest wind channels. You will be protected by your heavenly forcefield.

May The Upper-Right Cheek of The Face of The Bob Hope have mercy on our desperate souls.